Good Morning,
I’ve wanted to read this book for a long time. I’ll be honest, it’s not because of anything I knew about Stephen Covey, or the content. I wanted to read it because it’s so highly recommended. As soon as I started it, I understood why. This turned out to be an excellent book to begin with, because it doesn’t focus on any particular skill, it focuses on developing yourself first. It is the antithesis of “quick fixes”, and I feel that it’s valuable to understand the concepts the author discusses. In the following summary you won’t find any promise of overnight success or shortcuts. You will, however, learn ideas which will help you understand yourself, and shape the direction in which you want your life to go.
Part 1: Paradigms and Principles
You can’t change outcomes until you change yourself
Even those who achieve success in the various outward aspects of life (career, academia, wealth, business, fame etc.), find themselves longing for an internal and personal congruency and effectiveness, as well as deep and meaningful relationships with others. Having a better relationship with our family, getting in shape, learning new skills. These are all examples of common goals that many of us struggle with no matter how much we want to achieve them. Covey says these self improvement goals are deep problems which cannot be solved with a quick fix. Through his own experiences, he found that to change the situations which affect us, we have to change ourselves, which requires a change of perception.
What does success mean to you?
Covey spent time researching the idea of perception. He studied many books, articles and essays on the topic of self-improvement. He noticed a pattern: most of the literature written shortly after World War I, was very different from that which was written before. Newer books hada strong emphasis and focus on what he calls the personality ethic. In the personality ethic, success is purely an outward measure determined by public image, displays of wealth etc. And the new literature attempts to teach us techniques to hack our way to outward success. Covey referred to this as “social band-aids”: short-term solutions based on manipulation, duplicity and self-centered motives.
Now, he wrote this back in 1989, but things definitely haven’t changed. In fact, I believe these personality ethic ideas have become even more pervasive through today’s literature, entertainment, and social media.
In contrast, he noted that earlier literature focused on the character ethic as the foundation of success. Character ethic is based on meaningful values such as “integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience” etc. Covey learned that we can only achieve true and enduring success and happiness through integrating these principles into our character. And this requires a strong change in perception and changing the fundamentals of your beliefs and values: a Paradigm Shift.
I think you’re starting to get the point. Internal, fundamental change is the only way to solve problems permanently.
Principles
To embody elements of the character ethic we must accept that there are some natural principles of human behavior.
Covey’s point here is that there are some naturally positive and innate principles which we should value. While I believe these are subjective, I think 99% of people would agree that all of these are truly positive and important values.
Fundamental principles Stephen Covey mentions:
· Integrity and Honesty
· Dignity
· Fairness
· Service
· Quality or Excellence
· Potential and Growth
Unlike practices (skills, tricks, techniques etc.), “principles are deep, fundamental truths which have universal application.”. Covey refers to our values and paradigms as the “maps” which guide us to actions and thoughts. He argues, the more we align our maps with these fundamental truths, “the more accurate and functional they will be”.
Overview of the 7 Habits
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”
-Aristotle
Our habits are what make up our character. Covey gives an excellent analogy here: Spaceships which go on voyages of hundreds of thousands of miles, spend more energy during lift off, than the rest of the trip. He says that habits also have a strong gravitational pull, it’s difficult to set (or break) them. But once we break out of that initial gravity well, we have a lot more freedom.
The road to interdependence
The structure of the 7 habits can be seen in the graphic below.
Starting from dependence, the first three habits take us to independence, and the next three take us to interdependence. This is Stephen Covey’s “Maturity Continuum”. The final habit then ties it all together.
Being dependent in any way (physically, mentally, emotionally, intellectually, financially etc.) means to rely on someone else for these aspects of ourselves. We need others in order to achieve or have what it is we want. Habits 1-3 help us achieve a private victory and take us from dependence to independence. Most of the current social paradigms aim solely for this independence. But there’s a step beyond it, called interdependence. Covey argues that life is mostly interdependent, and in order to be effective, we should be interdependent. It’s based on the understanding that working with others can lead to much greater results than each individual would produce independently. Habits 4-6 help us reach interdependence, and so they make up our public victory. Habit 7 is renewal. This is a concept of regular, balanced, and continuous improvement. An “upward spiral” of betterment, an application of the rest of our habits.
Production and Production Capability (P/PC)
Consider Aesop’s fable – the story of the Goose and the Golden Egg. A farmer discovers a goose which lays golden eggs and makes him rich. Overcome with greed however, he decides to get all the eggs out at once, rather than waiting. He slaughters the goose only to find that there are no eggs inside, and now he’s lost his golden eggs forever. In this tragic tale, the eggs are the production (P) while the goose is the production capability (PC). Being effective lies in the balance of P and PC.
Covey describes 3 types of assets: physical, financial, and human. A physical asset might be some sort of device or tool we use. Financial assets are anything which earns us money. Human assets are us and others. All of these need not only be used for their output (P), but they should also be maintained and taken care of (e.g. car maintenance, human rest), that’s the P/PC balance. This balance is what Stephen Covey calls effectiveness.
Part 2: Private Victory
Habit 1: Be Proactive – Principles of Personal Vision
As I mentioned earlier, this first chapter deals a lot with self examination, and understanding yourself.
Many people view themselves based on a social mirror. They look at who they are through the lens of the common social paradigms they’ve been taught, and what they assume others think about them. We also let ourselves believe that our character is largely influenced by genetics, upbringing, and our environment. Covey reminds us that being human means we have the “unique endowments” to be self-aware, to self-examine, and the freedom to choose.
In other words, we can decide to make changes in ourselves. This can come off as a cliché or meaningless thing to say, but I don’t think of it as something that’s meant to get you “motivated”. Rather, I believe it’s just an acknowledgement that you have the choice to change things, and not believe “this is just how I am”.
Proactivity
In fact, we are always exercising our freedom to choose, we are proactive by nature. Even if our lives are just a consequence of socially taught paradigms and conditioning, our actions are still a conscious decision to live by those paradigms. However, making this choice makes us reactive.
And being reactive is the equivalent of letting the waves carry you wherever they please, without any effort or direction of your own.
Proactive people are driven by the values they keep. These values are things they put thought into, things they care about deeply. They understand that today is a consequence of their actions yesterday.
Act or be Acted Upon
Establishing the habits in this book takes initiative, it puts the responsibility on you to act. “If you wait to be acted upon, you will be acted upon”.
We have to accept that in order to decide our path, to move forward, we have to act. We have to take the initiative to achieve what we want, it’s not likely for it to just happen.
Not only do we have to act to achieve our goals, but we must also decide for ourselves what we value. First, we must understand our values, the paradigms and principles we choose to follow. Then we must always consider these values when we act or respond. This makes us proactive. In any situation, we act how we want (based on well thought out values), not how we think we should.
The Circles of life
To become more self aware of our proactivity, we should look at where we spend our time and energy.
Everyone has things they are concerned about. Their health, their family, work, school, money etc. This makes up our Circle of Concern. Within this circle, there are things we can actually affect and change. These make up a (typically) smaller circle, the Circle of Influence. Covey describes proactive people as those who focus and work within their Circle of Influence, and reactive people focus on their Circle of Concern. When we work proactively within our range of control, we achieve things, and we increase our Circle of Influence. Conversely, focusing on what is out of our control, leads to more concerns, and a smaller Circle of Influence.
3 Types of problems:
· Direct Control: Involving our own behavior
· Indirect Control: Involving the behavior of others
· No Control: Problems we can’t do anything about
The proactive approach to these three types of problems:
· Direct: Within our circle of influence; develop the habits to be independent and tackle these problems by working on Habits 1-3.
· Indirect: These require us to change the way we interact with and influence others, i.e. working on Habits 4-6.
· No Control: Peacefully accept these problems, learn to live with them. The best solution is to not let these problems control us, as we can’t control them.
It should be noted, however, that choosing our actions does not mean choosing outcomes. We still can’t decide the immediate consequences of the choices we make. Proactivity requires us to be able to acknowledge the situations and consequences we face, learn from them, and move forward.
“Chasing after the poisonous snake that bites us will only drive the poison through our entire system.”
-Stephen Covey
Applying Habit 1
To become our most proactive selves, we must make and keep commitments. Integrity to our commitments (to us and others) is vital in being able to work within the circle of influence.
“Proactivity: 30-Day Test”:
Covey recommends testing the principle of proactivity by working only within your Circle of Influence for the next 30 days. Make small commitments which are do-able and keep them.
More application suggestions
1. “For a full day, listen to your language and to the language of the people around you. How often do you use and hear reactive phrases such as ‘If only,’ ‘I can't,’ or ‘I have to’”
2. Think of an upcoming situation/experience you expect to have, which you’ve handled poorly in the past (by your own standards). Review the situation considering your Circle of Influence and think of ways you could respond proactively.
3. Select a problem from your life that frustrates you. Is it a direct, indirect or no control problem? What’s the first step you should/can take within your Circle of Influence, toward this problem?
Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
I think of this habit as: find your definition of success.
I recommend getting out a pen and paper, or your phone, and trying this quick exercise Covey begins the section with.
Covey asks to stop and consider something. He paints a picture of a funeral. Your funeral. And he asks you to imagine that there are four speakers:
First is someone from your family; siblings, children, spouse etc.
Next is a close friend.
Then a person you work with (at your job or business).
Finally, is someone who you know through community organization (he uses the example of church).
Take some time to think about what you’re imagining them say about you. What achievements, what characteristics, what moments do these people recall? Jot these down.
These thoughts are reflective of your fundamental values. Covey calls it the “inner guidance system at the heart of your Circle of Influence”. The idea here, is to spend time and really think about what matters to you most. By keeping your supremely important end goals in mind, you can make sure that the way you spend your time is in line with where you want to end up, and who you want to be.
This habit is the exercise of understanding the beliefs or principles which matter to you. Armed with proactivity and the upcoming Habit 3. You can begin to lead yourself in a direction you like, based on principles you decide.
Leadership vs. Management
“Management is doing things right; Leadership is doing the right things.”
-Peter Drucker
Many people, groups and businesses spend their time and effort moving forward, making progress. But they don’t first take the time to define their goals and their direction. What we need before we try to manage ourselves, is to be leaders. Leading means to create a vision, principles, or directions, which define what’s important, and what should be worked towards.
Personal Mission Statement
Covey says the most effective way to Begin with the End in Mind, is to develop a personal mission statement. This applies to individuals as well as businesses. This statement consists of what you want to be (character), what you want to do (contributions and achievements), and the fundamental values you must follow and never break.
Here is an example of a personal ‘creed’ from Covey’s friend:
Succeed at home first.
Seek and merit divine help.
Never compromise with honesty.
Remember the people involved.
Hear both sides before judging.
Obtain counsel of others.
Defend those who are absent.
Be sincere yet decisive.
Develop one new proficiency a year.
Plan tomorrow's work today.
Hustle while you wait.
Maintain a positive attitude.
Keep a sense of humor.
Be orderly in person and in work.
Do not fear mistakes -- fear only the absence of creative, constructive, and corrective responses to those mistakes.
Facilitate the success of subordinates.
Listen twice as much as you speak.
When you create a personal mission statement, you define to yourself clearly the guidelines by which you live every day. “It becomes a personal constitution” Covey says. It becomes the source of your “security, guidance, wisdom, and power.”
The Center of our Worlds
Everyone has a center, something which our paradigms, our focus and our lives are centered around. Some are spouse-centered, others are work-centered, or money-centered etc. But most commonly, most are Self-centered.
To identify our centers, we must think about where we get our security, guidance, wisdom, and power. Examples:
· Security: You get your security (or insecurity) from the way your spouse treats you. (Spouse-centered)
· Guidance: You make all major decisions based on how you can earn the most. (Money-centered)
· Wisdom: You see the world in terms of what you can get out of it. (Pleasure- or Self-centered)
· Power: Your actions are limited to what is acceptable by your family and traditions. (Family-centered)
The ideal center is one we create for ourselves, by which we can consistently derive a high amount of security, guidance, wisdom, and power. It should be a center based on fundamental principles.
Being principle-centered means to be grounded in fundamental truths. Based on the principles we identify as important.
Principle-Centered:
· Security: Your security is based on correct principles that do not change, regardless of external conditions or circumstances.
· Guidance: In every situation, you consciously, proactively determine the best alternative, basing decisions on conscience educated by principles.
· Wisdom: You view the world not just based on what you want to be and achieve, but also based on the principles of what you think is fair, correct, and good.
· Power: You become a self-aware, knowledgeable, and proactive individual, largely unrestricted by the attitudes or actions of others.
Identifying roles and goals.
One way to form an effective mission statement is to base it on specific roles you hold in your life. Your statement then consists of what you want to be in that role, and what you want to achieve. Examples of our roles could be spouse, parent, friend, our jobs, business owner, community member. Write down multiple that are important to you.
It takes time to realize and decide what matters to us, and what roles we have in our lives. It should take time because it’s so critical. Just remember that effective goals focus on results more often than activities.
This is why we find many companies today have mission statements, because it helps their employees and leaders know what’s important and which direction to head in.
Covey mentions that he also has a family mission statement with his wife and children.
Applying Habit 2
1. Note down the impressions from the funeral visualization at the start of this section.
2. Spend some time thinking about your roles in life as you see them. How do you feel about this image of yourself?
3. Once you’ve thought out the previous two, and even noted some thoughts down, begin working on your mission statement. Take your time on this.
4. Go through the “centers” chart from before and try to identify some patterns in your life and where your behavior fits in.
5. Collect notes, quotes, and ideas to inspire your mission statement.
6. Think about a project you will work on in the future and define the results you want and the steps to achieving them.
7. Try to develop a similar idea with your family or work group/business.
Habit 3: Put First Things First – Principles of Personal Management
Take a moment to think of an answer to the following questions:
1. What’s one thing (which you don’t do now) that would have a great positive impact on your personal life if you did it regularly?
2. What’s a similar thing you could do in your work/professional life?
Habit 3 is a practical way to fulfill what you set up with Habits 1 and 2. The first habit is about taking charge and knowing that we have to be proactive and shift our paradigms. Habit 2 tells us to envision and set our course as the leaders of our lives. Habit 3 is about being the manager of our lives, prioritizing and getting the right things done.
Covey describes what he calls the fourth generation of time management. It’s not based on deadlines and efficiency. First, he mentions that the third generation of time management includes the concepts of prioritization, long term planning and goal setting. These are all useful and effective. However, it removes spontaneity which he says is important in life and business. The fourth generation of time- or self-management focuses on enhancing relationships and accomplishing results, i.e., maintaining P/PC balance.
The Eisenhower Matrix
Most of this habit is centered around the task or decision matrix below. With a particular focus on Quadrant II: Important and Not Urgent.
The Eisenhower Matrix organizes tasks into four quadrants based on whether they are important, and if they are urgent or not. Examples:
· Quadrant I: A big project deadline coming up. This is important and urgent, and so we find ourselves working on these things with high priority.
· Quadrant II: Working on long term goals and relationships. Spending time with family, working on a habit, going to the gym etc. These are all important things, but we don’t have any sense of urgency toward them.
· Quadrant III: A phone call. We might be busy working on important things when suddenly the phone rings. Although it might not be an important call, because it’s right there and ringing, we tend to view it as urgent and take the call.
· Quadrant IV: The Netflix Quadrant. This made up of all our unimportant, nonurgent activities, which are sort of like a break or rest for us.
Covey describes our typical, undisciplined behavior as the following: We are largely reactive, so we spend most of our time reacting to the urgent matters of Quadrant I and III. This is why many of us are just getting by, forced to react to what life throws at us. Being exhausted by this, we spend our remaining time in Quadrant IV as our only relief.
But the crucial point of Habit 3 is to rewire ourselves to pay more and more attention to Quadrant II, reduce I and stay out of III and IV. This is the golden ticket to applying the ideas of Habits 1 and 2 to go from dependence to independence.
Think back to your answers from the beginning of this section, it’s likely that they fit into Quadrant II. Quadrant II includes things like building relationships, learning skills, exercising, writing your personal mission statement. These activities make us become less reactive and more in control. In return, making Quadrant I smaller. The more you prepare yourself , the less work you have to do when the challenge presents itself.
Quadrant II Focused Time-management
Covey suggests that we move away from daily or task-based planning, and instead focus on planning on a weekly basis. Decide what you want to do this week and try to get to all of those things. Of course, remove as much of Quadrant III and IV as you can, and focus on Quadrant II activities.
One way to determine some Quadrant II activities, is to go back to the roles we defined for ourselves in Habit 2. Write these roles down, and when deciding what activities to spend our time on, derive them from what you need to do to meet your goals in each role (e.g. as a spouse, student, parent, manager, teacher etc.).
Take a few minutes every morning during your week to review and adapt. Review the things you’ve planned to do, and the progress you’ve made.
Delegation
This section is about Quadrant III, urgent and unimportant tasks. The way to move out of this Quadrant is to learn to delegate. I won’t get into the detailed anecdotes Covey shares about delegation, only the key ideas.
Covey identifies two kinds of delegation: gofer delegation and stewardship delegation.
Gofer Delegation is telling people what to do and how to do it. This takes away any of their added value, by reducing their creative input and individual ideas. This is obviously not an effective method in the long term. It’s an example of killing the goose.
Stewardship Delegation is about spending time with someone, giving them guidance and responsibility, until they take to their role in a meaningful way. Stewardship Delegation requires you to make a few things clear:
· Desired Results: What needs to be accomplished
· Guidelines: The parameters to work within.
· Resources: Identify what resources are available for learning and asking questions, yourself included as one of them.
· Accountability: Set the standards by which their performance will be evaluated, and how often.
· Consequences: Specify the good or bad consequences that would result from the evaluation.
I’d like to add that delegation is not only about work or business. He gives an excellent example of using stewardship delegation to teach his young son to be in charge of the front lawn. Delegation isn’t just pawning off chores, it should be beneficial to the other person as well. Learning a skill or having a responsibility can be very beneficial to others.
Applying Habit 3:
1. Use the Quadrant II focused Weekly Planning method.
2. Think of Quadrant II activities you have wanted to do but neglected. Write them down and commit to implementing them.
3. Make a list of responsibilities you could delegate and who you can delegate to. Plan out the process by which you could start to delegate or train.
That’s it for part 1. Tomorrow’s part will begin with the habits of public victory, and habit 7 to tie it all together. I hope you gained something valuable from this. If you have any feedback for me, drop a comment or hit me up on twitter @h__sid.
See you tomorrow,
Sid